16 August 2005

Who comes up with this crap?

I am driving home from my job in advertising, and I already know the answer to this question: some poor schmuck chained to a desk expected to come up with something "creative" for a moron with a marketing degree that has no idea how to be creative... yet they have the final say, don't they, because they're paying the bills.

No, that doesn't make them smart or creative, but I still have to pay my mortgage.

"Gourmet Combo to Go" is what I just saw on an outdoor board for Krystal. This is false advertising. There is nothing on the menu at Krystal that can be considered "gourmet". KRYSTAL. A dry square bun with a puck of beef, a dry square bun with a puck of chicken and a dry teeny weenie on a bun, slathered with chili and cheese are not gourmet. Even if you throw in the high-calorie, chemically modified, sugar laden, over-iced soft drink and the crappy fries. Not even the ketchup helps.


Just like Extreme Jell-o. What!? What the hell is extreme about Jell-o? A hideous food-coloring combination that resembles snot? I don't think so. What's extreme is that these corporations will stop at nothing to get people to buy their poor excuses for food. Let's see, we're losing marketshare because people are getting better educated about what they eat -- they don't care to eat the by-products of horse hooves.

Hmm. I know! Let's market to people that don't know any better (read: kids) who will help create demand for another few years.

Not cool. Anybody see the segment in the movie "Super Size Me" where we're told about how Sodexho, among others, has successfully filled our schools with crap -- all backed by the major food corporations? And, how about the vignette about the school for problem children, in Appleton, Wisconsin, where the lunch ladies prepare food like they did many years ago? No prepared foods? No convenience foods? No instant-from-the-box foods?

Those kids don't seem to be so problematic anymore. They're not eating chopped, pressed pork lips enhanced for flavor! Or, powdered flakes of so-called potatoes whipped into an unappetizing, oddly-flavored plop. Because their bodies are chemically functioning like they should be, many of the problems with aggression, attention disorders and other maladies have virtually disappeared. They're getting good grades and improving. Guess what? The superintendent says it costs the same to run the cafeteria this way.

Our options at the grocery aren't getting any slimmer, although fewer and further between. I am going continue buying my "Always Fresh" vegetables from Easy-Way. I'm going to buy free-range chickens at the health food store. All-natural beef can come from mail order. And, cooking on Sundays for the week is not a hard thing to do. In the end, I'll eat better and have all the convenience I need from a Tupperware container or FoodSaver bag. And, it'll be gourmet.

1 comment:

The Angry Czeck said...

It''s just advertising, D-Man.