07 November 2005


It's been a while since I've posted. For a lot of reasons, I guess. There has been quite a lot going in in dminmem-land. Some big stuff. Some scary stuff. Some fun stuff. I guess none of it matters, really. And, it's mostly uninteresting. And, I am tired. I have been thinking that I need to take this blog in a different direction, but I don't know what that is. There is part of me that wants to keep a lot about me and my life private. But, who want's to read about some fuck bitching about plastic mayonnaise jars?

So far, the Northwest thing is the only important post. My partner has been flying for that corporation for over fifteen years. He's paid his dues, never calls in sick, and just basically does what is expected of him very well. Numerous letters of commendation attest to that. But, the greedy corporate fucks in Minneapolis have convinced themselves that what they're trying to do is the only way to run a profitable airline. Seems to me that they need to look within the black holes that we might call their souls, and see their reverse-Robin Hood ways. They say that they have to pay ridiculous bonuses and award stocks to retain great talent. If you ask me, anyone with a little talent could figure out how to earn what most would consider a nice salary and run an airline without running it into the ground, screwing the people that operate it every day and selling us out to cheap Chinese and Indian labor.

I could go on forever about this, but I am tired of it.

But, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop writing letters to congresspersons. Letters to the editor. It's going to take hundreds of flight attendants and their sympathizers making their voices heard, contacting our leaders to let them in on the facts, such that CEO Doug Steenland is trying to keep out of the public's view and conveniently omitting in bankruptcy proceedings, if we expect to incite change and preserve our (their) jobs. But, I digress.

I am tired because I have kept my Air Force enlisted sister's cats for 13 months while she was transferred to a location where they couldn't be in her care. And, these are cats that wouldn't and/or couldn't assimilate into our two boxer-one cat household. So, I have been a prison warden for all these months. Crating cats is not fun for them, let alone me. But, they went back home this past week. Some closure there. And, she tells me that they are doing fine. That makes me happy. But, I am still tired, because the former office, cum cat kennel is now going to be the guest room it should have always been. Top-to-bottom cleaning for two weekends in a row just isn't my bag. A little dust really doesn't bother me. Except for kitchen, bathroom, linens or other "unhygenic" areas (thanks for the word, whacked-out Brit-former Hollywood non-star neighbor of one of my closest friends), I don't spend every Saturday cleaning the house. Every other Saturday works fine for me.

I am tired of some new rash on my historically clear face. What? It's Exzema? Oh, wait. After a week and a half on this prescription, it's changing. So, it's not exzema, now. But, we don't know what it is. My dermatologists appointment that was originally to remove a painful scar on the back of my leg now includes trying to figure out what these red lines on my cheeks that itch like crazy are, and why I have felt like my lips are on fire for two weeks. Hopefully, we'll find out and fix it. Then, there's folliculitis on my chest, apparently a bacterial infection from when I began sweating profusely at USMC Fitness Boot Camp. It's great to be in better shape. But this sucks. And, I'm tired of it and the antibiotics.

The convertible's top has stopped working. And, I've already spent several hundred dollars on a new motor and installation. But, because that happened year before last, I have no warranty. I want to keep the rare antique, but I am beginning to think that this isn't just the right time in my life to have it. Will I find a buyer that will pay what it's worth? Not anytime soon, I fear.

I'm tired of my credit cards are maxed out -- making big payments only to be strapped and have an emergency come up that I can't ignore. I'm tired of knowing that I haven't managed my money well for the last year. Just two short years ago, I was completely debt free (with the exception of my car payment and the mortgage).

I'm tired of my Passat -- both the car and the lease.

I am tired of working on projects that should have been completed in less than three months that are now nearing two years on the job log. Especially ones where the AE and I disagree on the direction the project is going -- which requires that I burn even more brain cells coming up with two or three different ideas until we compromise on something that will be rejected because the only input we get is "we want something 'cool'".

I guess I'm tired of being here, today. My husband is waiting for me at home. And, he's on vacation this week. I need to go home, give him a kiss, pet my children and make a martini. Then, he and I can talk over a couple of cigarettes on the patio. It will be nice. And, I can relax.

I'll worry about what direction I want this blog to take some other time, I guess.

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