12 December 2005

More Later

Ok. I was watching yet another dismal performance on The Apprentice Martha Stewart. We watched in agony as Charles took a moment to remove the cigar that says "I have an oral fixation with large tubular objects and this is the most socially acceptable one I can get away with in public" to utter an unnecessary comment about something that happened that was clearly obvious. Stick that thing back in your mouth and shut up. You're the reason the show has been canceled.

Well, not really. But, I digress.

Cut to a commercial for the Jeep Commander. Yet another entry into the gas-guzzling arena of SUVs that will never see anything remotely resembling off-road, driving up on a beach from out of the ocean. I can see the headline now. "Family drowns while trying to sight-see in the ocean, driving their Jeep Commander."

Watch the Commander navigate this Wal-Mart parking lot.

07 December 2005

I'm waiting

for the first dumbass to drive their Jeep Commander into the ocean.

More later.

02 December 2005

Education? Library?

Don't you love it when you sign into eBay and do a search for something only to find that some moron thinks what they're trying to sell is something it's not? Because something has a Coca-Cola logo doesn't make it authentic or "vintage"? Because something is ceramic doesn't make it McCoy. What makes it even more ridiculous is that when they're not sure of what it is they are listing it comes up in your search with a "?" after the name.

McCoy? Shawnee?

It's kind of like what I saw on television last night. I couldn't sleep. It was 2 AM. I started channel surfing and happened upon Family Feud. I thought it would be mindless enough to put me to sleep so I left it there. Viewers were introduced to the champions who had apparently been on the show three times, so far. Then, we met the the challengers. They all greeted the host with Billy Bob teeth in their mouths. Ha ha. Really funny. Both teams were comprised of 30 to 40-something year-old sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts.

During the third round, two team members were asked to come to the podium, placing one hand on the response button and the other behind their backs. The question was, "Besides the United States, name a 'great" country."

I should known what happened was coming.

The challenging Billy Bobs hit the button first and gave a legitimate answer. But it wasn't the biggest response, based upon the number of people surveyed, giving the returning champions' team member a chance to steal. After a pregnant pause she got the wrong answer buzzer and big, red, on-screen "X" without uttering a word. Not even "um".

The Billy Bobs decided to play and continued matching responses. Anticipating that the Bobs would eventually get "buzzed and "X"ed for not matching answers three times, the champions huddled to discuss what their answer should be. The Billy Bobs missed three times. Two answers were left on the board.

Scoring zero for the first two rounds, the champions were given this second opportunity to steal and remain in the game by matching either of the two remaining country names. They broke out of their huddle and stood back at their respective places and began yelling "Africa", "Europe". Eventually the team leader settled on "Europe". Of course, they were buzzed and "X"ed, and the Bobs won.

Country? Continent?

I don't know why I am surprised.