24 January 2007


I'm so tired. But I can't sleep.

So, I've just finished checking out the latest at uproryous. A few minutes after I clicked another link and left his site, I realized the comment I left was the third unsolicited time -- two others with co-workers -- I spoke of Rachael Ray today. So because I find her loathsome and have always considered her a hack I looked to Wikipedia for an entry to see if my feelings were really warranted. Yes, she's there. We could all use great P.R.

The Wikipedia entry did teach me a few things. Now, I know that she does have some credentials, even though she's not been classically trained. I have a newly-found respect for some of her work.

Since I can count on one hand the number of times I've watched her show, I couldn't remember what turned me off so much about her and kept me from wanting to see her ever again. Was it that she has what appears to be a perfectly restored vintage stove on her set that, from what I can tell, she uses as counter space? Possibly. Is it that she's credited with popularizing "Juzsh"(A euphemism for stir)" when we all know it was yet another clever but annoying TV personality Carson Kressley from Queer Eye who coined the phrase for pushing up shirt sleeves? Perhaps. Or is it that she basically dined-and-dashed on a bill she'd racked up with a good friend of mine, a wildly talented New York photographer, for work he completed for her book? Maybe.

From Wikipedia: "On her television programs she has introduced catchphrases such as "E.V.O.O." (extra-virgin olive oil), "yum-o," "so delish," "G.B." (garbage bowl)," spoonula, stoup (cross between a soup and stew)." "She often refers to sandwiches as "sammies.""


E.V.V.O.? Sammies? Is she so cracked out that her mouth cannot keep up with how fast the words need to come out of it? "OMG, remember, I only have 30 minutes to do this! OMG, I'm speeding into a frenzy and my face is going to explode. OMG, I.A.R!*...."


God. I was elated to get away from my former corporate client whose employees felt compelled to reduce every initiative into a garbled mess of acronyms. A.B.C.D.E.F.U! Aside from the fact that she's simply annoying, this drives me up the wall. (Matt v2.o! More acronyms! At least these aren't tied to salary or bonuses.) And think of all the lemmings who will embrace her 'tardness and help drive her already over $6 million annual salary into the stratosphere.

Rachael Ray can -- as my friend Jacquie (a.k.a. Jaxx Starcakes) would often say to our A.E., Rob -- SUCK IT!

I've got to go suck a pillow or I'll never get up in the morning. God Love ya.

'Night, baby.** Sweet dreams.

P.S. I love that spell-check makes her "catchphrases" all highlighted in yellow.

* I'm A Retard. ** Cameron. In case you're reading this.

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