27 October 2008

I'm Still Laughing

I can't help it. Although I do have a lot of respect for John McCain's service to this country, and I thought I might vote for him before this whole campaign debacle began, the Dumbya dogma is coming through loud and clear with his stance on certain matters, so I don't bristle so much at seeing him being referred to as "Geezer." That's what antiquated, out-of-touch ideology will getcha.

Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is a clueless idiot, just like Dumbya.

While I feel that calling her a "dingbat" is a disservice to Jean Stapleton's All in the Family character, Edith Bunker, I can't help but laugh out loud every time I look at this shirt. I just ordered mine. Get yours by clicking the link.

No on hate - No on 8

Shared with me by my friend Kathy. Glad to pass it on and I have my fingers crossed.

26 October 2008

Oh, to be in Nuevo California

My friend, David, who also lives in this Red State of Tennessee, sent me this and I thought it was worth sharing. It's good for a chuckle.

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Nancy Pelosi. You get Sarah Palin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Wal-Mart.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss.

We get 85 percent of America ?s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.


Blue States

Perhaps we'll be a Blue State this time around. With the turnout for early voting hope springs eternal.

22 October 2008

This Just In From


1. The polls may be wrong. This is an unprecedented election. No one knows how racism may affect what voters tell pollsters—or what they do in the voting booth. And the polls are narrowing anyway. In the last few days, John McCain has gained ground in most national polls, as his campaign has gone even more negative.

2. Dirty tricks. Republicans are already illegally purging voters from the rolls in some states. They're whipping up hysteria over ACORN to justify more challenges to new voters. Misleading flyers about the voting process have started appearing in black neighborhoods. And of course, many counties still use unsecure voting machines.

3. October surprise. In politics, 15 days is a long time. The next McCain smear could dominate the news for a week. There could be a crisis with Iran, or Bin Laden could release another tape, or worse.

4. Those who forget history... In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote after trailing by seven points in the final days of the race. In 1980, Reagan was eight points down in the polls in late October and came back to win. Races can shift—fast!

5. Landslide. Even with Barack Obama in the White House, passing universal health care and a new clean-energy policy is going to be hard. Insurance, drug and oil companies will fight us every step of the way. We need the kind of landslide that will give Barack a huge mandate.

13 October 2008

Betty White Still Kickin' It

She's still hilarious. I'm disappointed that I only see her on Golden Girls reruns if I happen to surf past one or on PetMeds commercials.

10 October 2008

Bucking the Program

As you may have deduced, I am using the 12-step program to make some significant changes in my life. The Serenity Prayer,* a big part of the program, helps me keep things in perspective. When I'm faced with a situation to which I'm not sure how to respond, I can first, have faith that if I "let go" what's meant to happen will, but also I can think for a moment before I react.

Yet, with this post I may not be accepting "the things I cannot change" or exercising "the wisdom to know the difference" by imploring us to elect leaders that can pronounce "America" as such, not "Amurka", and "nuclear" instead of "nucular." I've heard, as Paris Hilton called him, "old white guy" say "Amurka" enough times to make me vomit. And Sarah "Pale in comparison to Joe Biden" say "nucular" so often that my further questioning of her intelligence and enlightenment seems validated. They sound just like "Dumbya". To me these are perfect examples of why we should expect more of the same failed policies under McCain/Palin leadership.

One way I can rest assured that I am following the meaning of the Serenity Prayer is that I'm having "the courage to change the things I can" by voting for change on November 4. I'm not convinced that we're getting the best opportunity for significant change by voting for Obama, but I know that we'll start to dig out of the pit of despair that "Dumbya" has squarely placed us within.

Because Obama can clearly say "America" and "nuclear" I believe that there may be more to him. When he's elected our leadership can begin to look intelligent to the rest of the world again.
* God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.